Double Trouble: Bitches

They want to tell you stories about vampires, new wallets and being a winner. They want to make you shout and dance. They want to drink your Guinness, lager and any of your left over holiday spirits. They are Blake and Staz and they are BITCHES.

If you like drumming, singing and crazy bass riffs you should check out BITCHES, a duo who've been making even lacklustre Londoners nod their heads to their fierce sounds. Staz goes all Moe Tucker cool on the drums while Blake gets amongst the crowd and makes young men wet their pants. The combination makes for live shows that are as fun as they are ear splittingly loud and recordings that balance high energy with a good tune.

And they've not just been playing here. The home of nutters, L.A, loves them and they've released a tape on Deathbomb Arc, feature on a free digital compilation alongside Foot Village, Divorce and Black Fiji and are self releasing their first 7" winner early this year. Check the cover art and preorder the single by clicking on it.
">

We asked them to talk about their favourite duos.

Neu Magazine asked my band BITCHES to make a list. This is probably down to flat out laziness and cause they think that they can make a living by asking everyone else to do the back-breaking hard work. I've been worked off my feet today; off my feet and onto the sofa. Don't confuse that for laziness. I literally had to sit down or my heart was going to explode, instantly killing me and plunging Staz, BITCHES drummer, into a sincere funk.

Anyway, I've got to talk about our favourite duos, from anywhere, anyhow or anytime. I don't want to give too much away about my working methods because I'm fearful of detailing the layout of my flat but I yelled some ideas at Staz, who sits around 12 feet away, until I'd narrowed down the most popular choices based on loudest emotional response. I then rated the enthusiasm staz had for each idea out of ten and ranked the duos accordingly. LET'S FUCKING ROLL. WITH VIDEOS!

1) Tim and Eric

Do you know these? They make horrible laugh shows. Sketches. A sketch show is the one they do at the moment. I showed my grandma some of their stuff and she made me turn it off after 2 minutes, even though there was no saucy events or swears, or nuffink. It's just really weird (incredible).

10/10



2) Captain Ahab

I don't know if people know them outside of LA very much but they really, really should. Fist pumping sexual jock trance! Guy in speedos who gets a sweat on like I don't even know how to! Divine ability to make crowds of men and women and infants weep pure unicorn joy. Those are three things that they have. Oh yes.

9.5/10



3) Sausage and Mash

My local Tesco has sausages on discount every single day so this dish is in heavy, heavy rotation in the kitchen. The Queen considers this the greatest dish in the world. Or Coronation chicken. Actually I think they're joint first (according to the Queen). I don't think anyone wrote a song about this, so no video - :(

8.4/10

4) Mcnulty + Bunk

FFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK

7.8/10



5) Sonic + Tails

A really nice pair of guys. The blue one was fast and the orange one was able to fly. Together they made an unbeatable team and we played this a lot when we were both children. Then they invented memory cards, so we switched to the good ship Playstation. This is our favourite level cause it has the best song.

6.5/10



BITCHES go on tour in February.

28 Jan 2010 CLUB MILK Fundrasier @ The Stags Head w/ Trash Kit, La La Vasquez London and South East
5 Feb 2010 Volcom In-Store Covent Garden, London and South East
12 Feb 2010 The Tudor Wigan, Northwest
13 Feb 2010 13th Note w/ DIVORCE, North American War, Stab Teen Glasgow, Scotland
14 Feb 2010 Sneaky Pete’s w/ DIVORCE, The Pineapple Chunks Edinburgh, Scotland
18 Feb 2010 The Cellar w/ TEETH!!! Oxford, London and South East
19 Feb 2010 TBC w/ TEETH!!! Bristol, Southwest
20 Feb 2010 Robbins’ Well w/ TEETH!!!, Fuck Your Haircut Leamington Spa, Midlands
25 Feb 2010 SINGLE RELEASE PARTY @ The Old Blue Last w/ TEETH!!! Shoreditch, London and South East
25 Mar 2010 The Stag’s Head w/ DIVORCE Dalston, London and South East
29 Apr 2010 RCC w/ Labasheeda Ipswich, East
29 May 2010 BRNLVFSTVL2010 @ The Windmill Brixton, London and South East
30 May 2010 BRNLVFSTVL2010 @ The Windmill Brixton, London and South East
17 Jul 2010 RCC ALL-DAYER Ipswich, East

[DOWNLOAD]